The Way Home: Chapter One

Title: The Way Home
A Shelter Fanfic
Author: Jessica (sam_cdn)
Rating: R for now, NC-17 for upcoming chapters (I promise!)
Summary: This story opens a little over two months after Shaun, Zach, and Cody have moved to Valencia. This will be a multi-chaptered story, telling the tale of what happens next. There will be plenty of happiness, sappiness, and general domestic bliss. There will be some hotness and some smuttiness. There will also be some angst, some anger, some sadness, and some pain. There will be some attempts at humor, but I'm not promising you'll laugh. Hold on tight, I've got a lot of story to tell!
Feedback: Always welcomed and encouraged!
Disclaimer: I do not own and did not create any of these characters other than Eliza. This was not created for profit.

Bedtime. Zach dreaded it, although he did look forward to some aspects of it. Not his own bedtime: he was very fond of that time of day, and he always liked what happened after he had gotten under the covers. No, it was the bedtime of that five-year-old ball of fire in his life that brought forth these conflicting emotions in him. Had he ever made such a simple task so difficult for anyone when he had been that age? Not that he could recall. In fact, he had few memories of being put to bed by anyone other than himself. Maybe they were spoiling Cody too much. He had Shaun to blame for that.

Currently, they were at Zach’s favorite portion of the process: story time. Cody had taken a forced bath, painstakingly brushed his teeth, put his pajamas on, taken them off, put a different pair on, taken them off, put the first pair back on, and then had finally compromised on the top from one pair with the bottoms of another. He had asked for two glasses of water, had gone to the bathroom once, and was now in his bed at last

He seemed to be settled, though. The three of them were all lounging on Cody’s race car bed, Cody resting his head on Shaun’s chest as he read “Mortimer” (Shaun was the best at reading Robert Munsch), and Zach lying on his side at their feet. He laughed along with Cody at the voices Shaun made, and grinned at the way he brought the story to life.

When the book was done and they had both kissed Cody goodnight, Zach was thinking they just might get away with an easy night.

He had nearly gotten the door shut, when he heard the small voice calling out to him. “Zach?”

He sighed and met Shaun’s eyes. Shaun smiled and shrugged, already accepting defeat. Zach poked his head back into the room.

“Yeah, bud.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Cody, you just got into bed, you need to give it some time.”

“But I can tell, I’m not gonna fall asleep.”

“Codes, you have to try. Come on, we’ve talked about this.” Silence. “Cody? I’ll see you in the morning.”

“No!”

“I won’t? Will you be invisible in the morning?”

Cody giggled, but quickly remembered his resolve to appeal to his uncle’s softer side. “Please don’t leave me.”

Zach sighed, fearing that this would be another difficult night.  He went and sat beside his nephew. “Cody, we have talked about this. You need to learn how to sleep on your own, like a big boy.”

“I am a big boy. I just can’t sleep.”

“How do you know that? You haven’t even tried yet.”

“Why can’t I sleep with you and Shaun anymore?”

“Because we want you to try sleeping in this bed. Remember how excited you were when we bought it? Remember how you said you would sleep in it every night?”

“Yeah …”

“Well, how about you give it a try?”

Cody groaned, foiled by tricky adult logic. But he could play hardball: “Can I have one more glass of water?”

“No, Cody, you’ve had enough. You’ll be up peeing all night.” Cody burst into a fit of giggles. Zach smiled. “What?”

“Peeing all night … you’re funny, Daddy.”

Zach was about to say something, but bit his lip. He still hadn’t figured out how to respond to Cody calling him this. It had started about a week after they had arrived in Valencia, only happening occasionally. At the time, Zach and Shaun had gently reminded him that Zach was not his Daddy, and Cody hadn’t made a fuss. But now, more than two months later, the instances of Cody calling him this were beginning to become regular, and he and Shaun were not sure whether they should encourage it or not. Would it be so horrible if Cody called him this? He was filling the role, after all. But they feared it would become confusing to him. What if he started wanting to call Shaun “Daddy” too? He and Shaun had discussed it, but still had not come to a decision about it.

But Zach had more pressing matters to attend to. “I’m going to go now, Cody.”

Cody sighed heavily. “Fine.”

“You know I love you lots and lots and lots, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Night, Codestar.”

“Night.”

Zach gave him another kiss, and headed for the door. He didn’t make it far.

“Daddy?”

“What is it, Cody?”

“Can I ever sleep with you and Shaun ever again?”

The plaintive tone of Cody’s voice immediately melted Zach’s heart. He knew that he needed to be firm with Cody if he wanted him to learn, but suddenly, all he cared about was making sure Cody knew that they were not rejecting him. The most important thing to Zach, above any disciplinary issues, was to make sure that Cody knew that he was loved, and would continue to be loved unconditionally for the rest of his life. Before Shaun, the only person who had ever made Zach feel that way had been his mother. He knew how important his mother’s love had been to him.

“Cody, yes, of course you can. Shaun and I will always be there when you need us. If you really, really can’t sleep, or if you have a bad dream, or if you feel like you need to be with us, then yes, you can sleep with us. We just need you to try sleeping in this bed, all right? Can you be strong and do that for us?”

Cody was quiet for a moment, as he considered the proposition. “Yeah, I can be strong.”

“Good.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, buddy.”

When Zach collapsed on the couch, Shaun already had a glass of wine poured for each of them. Shaun, sitting next to him, put a hand on his knee. “So? How was it?”

“Not as bad as I was expecting.”

"Yeah, you weren’t gone for too long.”

“Well, we’ll see how long it lasts.”

Shaun shook his head, looking at Zach. “You’re too pessimistic.”

“Try realistic.”

“Whatever you say,” Shaun said, shaking his head again. “So, what time do you work tomorrow?”

“Ten.”

Shaun nodded, rubbing his hand along Zach’s thigh. “And you’re done at five?”

“Yeah. You’re still good to pick Cody up at school?”

“Of course. I’ll drive you both.” Shaun paused and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve got to get that review in by midnight. Hopefully I’ll be done with it by then, and not have to re-write it three times like the last time.”

“Well, did you keep away from the topics they don’t want?”

“Yep. The review is bland, uninspired, and totally useless, just the way they like it.”

“You don’t need to write for them, you know.”

“No, actually, I do need to.”

“We’re fine, Shaun. We don’t need the money.”

“We do if we’re going to Europe next summer.”

Zach sighed. “Maybe you could find something better.”

“Hm. Maybe.”

For the past month or so, Shaun had been writing movie reviews for a local paper. At first, he had been excited about the job. But Zach saw his elation disappear quickly after submitting his first critique: it was returned to him, covered in red marks. They didn’t like him being negative. They didn’t like him talking about undertones of racism in the film’s theme. They didn’t like him saying that America’s favorite actor’s performance had been mediocre. They were happy to pay for and publish his writing, provided he wrote what they wanted. But he had continued writing for them because they did pay quite well, and he did want to take Zach and Cody to Europe the following summer.

Zach didn’t like the fact that Shaun was compromising himself for his and Cody’s benefits. He knew what it was like to make sacrifices, and he didn’t want to be putting Shaun in that position. It was only a small one, though, and he insisted on it. After all, it was only a tiny issue in a world of happiness.

A world of happiness. It sounded ridiculously over-the-top to Zach, but in the moment that the thought crossed his mind, it sounded right. The past two and a half months had been … busy, exciting, scary, life altering, and, yes, happy. The first month had consisted of moving Zach and Cody from San Pedro to Valencia, getting their apartment set up, and their new lives in order. They wanted to enroll Cody in school, but then realized that this would be impossible without certified documentation stating that Zach was Cody’s legal guardian. So after a scramble to figure out what needed to be done, and to contact the appropriate people, they had Jeanne fax them signed documents, temporarily giving Zach legal guardianship of Cody. Zach wasn’t so sure if he liked the “temporary” contingency in the agreement, fearing that it may one day cause problems, but it was the best they could do on such short notice. They had no trouble getting Jeanne to agree to the present set-up, but finding a more permanent arrangement was something that Zach suspected would not be so easy to obtain. But he would worry about that when the time came, he told himself. For now, he was officially Cody’s legal guardian, and Shaun was unofficially his co-parent, and that was a better scenario than he ever could have dreamed of just a few months earlier.

So finally, they got Cody enrolled and started at school in September. Zach found a job at a paint-your-own ceramics studio. It wasn’t something he ever would have imagined himself doing, but the job was surprisingly fun, and he liked the people he worked with. Now, it was already November and generally speaking, things were running smoothly. If there weren’t any more changes for a long time, Zach would be just fine with it.

They crawled into bed around midnight, calmed and contented by tiredness, wine, each other, and the fact that Cody had not woken up again. Zach settled his head on Shaun’s chest, marveling, as he had every night for the past two months, that this was real, that this was his life.

“What do you want to do this weekend?” he asked Shaun.

“Hm, I don’t know. The usual, I guess: groceries, beach, movie, and extra sex?”

Zach chuckled. “Sounds good to me.”

“Oh, wait, I almost forgot: Anna and Dave are going to come for dinner Saturday night.”

“Oh. Sure.”

“Don’t sound so excited.”

“Hey, come on, you know I like your friends.”

Shaun sighed, giving Zach a squeeze. “And they like you. I know we’re all old and boring.”

“No. Well, yeah, you are old.”

Shaun laughed. “You’re welcome to bring your own friends over, you know.”

“Yeah, right.”

“What about that girl, Eliza, you’re always mentioning? You seem to be getting pretty close to her.”

Zach sighed. Eliza worked at the studio with Zach and they often had shifts together. Zach liked Eliza: she was funny, smart, creative, and they always had something to talk about. And Eliza seemed to like him as well. But maybe a little too much. “I’ll think about it.” He turned his head and kissed Shaun’s chest. “Now come on, enough talking.” He moved his lips to Shaun’s left nipple.

“Hey, hey, hold on.” Shaun put his hand on Zach’s shoulder. “What’s going on? Why wouldn’t you invite her over?”

Zach lifted himself up on his elbow and looked down at Shaun. “I just—we’re still getting to know each other.”

“Oh yeah?” He studied Zach for a moment. “You haven’t told her you’re gay, have you?”

Zach immediately tensed. He collapsed down onto his back. “Shaun—”

“Don’t get angry with me, Zach. This is something you’re going to have to get used to dealing with.”

“I don’t need to tell every person I meet that I’m gay.”

Shaun sighed. “No, of course not. But I think you should tell your friends. Especially ones who might be expecting something more from the friendship?”

Zach closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

Shaun rolled on his side and leaned over Zach. “Look, babe, I know this isn’t easy. But it’s better than hiding, right?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

Zach reached up and put his hand against Shaun’s cheek. “It is better, I know. As usual, you’re right.”

Shaun smiled. “Well, if you say so.”

“Is Master getting a big head?”

“Master is just glad that Student is learning.”

“Does Master have any new lessons for Student tonight?”

Shaun chuckled. “Yeah, I could teach you a thing or two.”

And so he did.

*          *            *

“What a bitch,” Eliza said as they stepped out into the dazzling sunlight.

“Yeah, she was pretty unreasonable.”

“I mean, what the hell was she thinking? First of all, if you’ve never been to a ceramics studio before, you don’t go around complaining about prices. How does she have any idea what it should cost? And I explained to her, like, six times what the studio fee was for, and she was still bitching about it. Does she think we even have any control over the cost? Besides, our prices aren’t even that bad, compared to some places.”

“In all fairness,” Zach said, “the studio fee at Glazing Around is a dollar cheaper.”

“Oh, whatever. Like she can’t spend an extra buck.”

Zach chuckled. “Whatever you say.”

“So, burgers or Subway?”

“Let’s go to the diner.”

They continued along the sidewalk, making their way through the throngs of people out enjoying the fall sun. Zach was on his lunch break, and Eliza had just finished her shift. She seemed to be in an argumentative mood, but Zach was in a good one, so he didn’t mind. It was a beautiful Friday, his workday was half-over, and Shaun had woken him up that morning with a fantastic blowjob. He figured that life didn’t get much better than this.

And then Eliza looped her arm through his.

At the look he gave her, she smiled confidently. “What, can’t you be a gentleman?”

He forced a smile. “Yeah, sure I can.” But what else do you want me to be?

They ordered burgers and iced teas at a nearby diner, and talked for a while about an upcoming pottery exhibition the owner of their studio had asked them to attend.

“What she doesn’t seem to understand,” Eliza said, pointing at Zach with a French fry, “is that when you don’t have a car, getting to some obscure gallery hidden somewhere in LA isn’t exactly easy.”

“What are you talking about?” Zach said, not thinking. “I’ll drive you, of course.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yeah. I’m going too, right?”

Eliza grinned. “Cool. So you’ll be my date.”

Zach’s smile immediately fell. Walked right into that one, didn’t you? he chided himself. He looked at Eliza, lit up in the sunny diner. Her long brown hair was swept up in a purple bandana today, which brought the focus to her face. She had large, brown eyes, full lips, pale skin that was completely clear other than a brown mole on her left cheek, a little above her mouth. Her large Sony headphones were around her neck, and she wore a black tank top and jeans. She was as tall as Zach, and nearly as muscular, but managed to be incredibly feminine at the same time. She was beautiful—Zach could see that. And if he were a different man, he would be thanking the heavens for having a girl this gorgeous, intelligent, and interesting attracted to him. But he was who he was, and he knew that he needed to clarify that to her.

Zach leaned forward on the table. “Eliza, there’s something I need to tell you.” He was immediately reminded of when he had said the same words to Tori. He hoped that Eliza would respond with the same “I already know,” as his ex-girlfriend had.

But she didn’t. “Oh, great, this is the part where you tell me you have a girlfriend, right?”

It would have been so easy to say “yes,” but Zach knew he couldn’t do that. And this is what made things worse for him: he had never actually said the words to anyone yet. So far, anyone he had needed to inform of his new relationship status, and what that meant, had already known. In a way, he felt like he had never really “come out”, because with Jeanne, Gabe, and Tori, the job had more or less been done for him. But not this time. He was all on his own now.

“No,” he said, “I don’t have a girlfriend. And there’s a reason for that. Um …” He paused, scratched his head. “I’m gay.”

Eliza stared at him. “What?”

“Uh, I’m gay?”

“Yeah, I heard you, I just—wow. I really did not get that from you. I usually have really good gay-dar.”

Zach blinked. “Oh. Well, sorry.”

“No, no, Zach, come on, don’t apologize.” She grinned. “Now that I know we’ll never sleep together, I can rest assured that we’ll actually stay friends. This is good news.”

Zach picked up his napkin and started to wipe the sticky remnants of dried ketchup from the bottle. “OK. But, um, you didn’t want to—”

“Oh, I wanted to. But this is better. Much better. Hey, don’t look so guilty.”

“I’m not guilty,” he said quickly, straightening up.

“Good. You shouldn’t be.” She leaned forward on the table, meeting Zach’s eyes. “And now, we get to the good stuff. Do you have a boyfriend?”

Zach felt the smile start in his chest, move through him, and burst out onto his face. “Yeah, I do.”

“Yeah, and? I need details, Zach.”

Zach felt his cheeks warm, and he looked away from Eliza’s piercing gaze. “What do you want to know?”

“What’s his name? Where did you meet? How long have you been together? What’s he like? Do you live together? Are you—”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down!” He laughed, a little bit amazed. No one had ever been so interested in his relationship with Shaun. At least, no one who didn’t have any ulterior motives, and he didn’t think that Eliza did.

Eliza smiled. “Fine. What’s his name?”

“Shaun.”

“Do you live together?”

“Yeah. We moved in together when I moved to Valencia.”

“And you’ve been together, how long?”

“Uh, a few months longer than that.”

“Wow, you guys move fast.”

Zach shrugged. “Maybe. But we’ve known each other all our lives. Well, for years, anyways.”

“Yeah? How?”

Zach grinned. “This is the part where things get weird. He’s my best friend’s older brother.”

“Oh, man. Girl friend, or guy friend?”

“Guy.”

“And he’s straight?”

“Yeah.”

“And what does he think of all this?”

“He’s, well … he’s fine with it. I mean, it’s sort of weird. Shaun was always, like, this infinitely cooler older brother-guy while Gabe and I were growing up. He taught us to surf, bought us our first beers, taught us how to ask a girl out. And now—”

“You two are shacking up.”

Zach laughed. “Pretty much.”

“So, is the relationship all that different from other guys you’ve dated?”

“Oh. Uh, actually, I haven’t dated any other guys.”
 

“No kidding. Something tells me there’s a story to be heard here.”

Zach met her eyes. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, we’ve still got some time before you have to be back. Spill.”

And so, he did. Zach told Eliza about running into Shaun again when he went to pick up a surfboard at Gabe’s house. He described how their friendship had been immediately rekindled, quickly transforming into something more. As he told the story, he skimmed over the details of Cody, Jeanne, Tori, his first acceptance to CalArts and why he turned it down, not getting too deeply into the particulars. She was excited to hear about Cody, though, and Zach was happy to talk about him, so he told her everything he could about his nephew as well. Eliza quickly volunteered to baby-sit when they needed, which Zach sincerely told her he would keep in mind.

He knew that he didn’t really need to tell Eliza this much, but for some reason, he really wanted to. When he came out to her, it was like he had already made the decision to trust her, and now he wanted her to know all about him. After all, he knew plenty about her already: how she had grown up in Connecticut with her single Mom, and how they jokingly called themselves the Gilmore Girls, although, Eliza confided, they weren’t quite as chummy as those girls were. (Zach wouldn’t know: he had once seen about ten minutes of the show, before giving up on it completely.) She had moved to LA from New York City, where she had spent the past year working at a café and trying to break into the art scene on her own. She had a hard time, but decided that the warmer climate of California would be helpful to her abilities. He knew that she liked Monty Python, David Sedaris, and The Shins.

“Well. That was quite a story,” she said as Zach seemed to have run out of things to say. “So, when do I get to meet Shaun and Cody?”

“Soon, I hope. What are you doing Saturday night?”

“Working, and then babysitting for my aunt and uncle.”

“Oh. Well, we’ll work something out. Maybe next week.”

 

Eliza grinned. “Sounds good.”