The Way Home: Chapter Nine

Title: The Way Home
A Shelter Fanfic
Author: Jessica (sam_cdn )
Rating: NC-17

Summary: This story opens a little over two months after Shaun, Zach, and Cody have moved to Valencia. This will be a multi-chaptered story, telling the tale of what happens next. There will be plenty of happiness, sappiness, and general domestic bliss. There will be some hotness and some smuttiness. There will also be some angst, some anger, some sadness, and some pain. There will be some attempts at humor, but I'm not promising you'll laugh. Hold on tight, I've got a lot of story to tell!
Disclaimer: I do not own and did not create the film Shelter. I am making no profit off of this.

When Zach entered the kitchen the next morning, he could tell by the large bottle of Gatorade Gabe was drinking and the massive quantity of eggs and hash browns he was cooking that he was as hung over as Zach was. The aroma of frying eggs somehow both enticed and revolted Zach as he leaned up against the island.

“Morning,” he said to Gabe’s back.

Gabe turned away from the stove and managed a weak grin. “Hey, man. Hungry?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t know.”

“Heh, yeah, me too. Well, I’m making food.”

Zach nodded and rubbed his head. He grabbed the bottle of Gatorade, took a sip, and nearly spewed it back out again. Better to just not put anything in my mouth, Zach thought.

“Is Shaun up?” Gabe asked.

“No, he’s dead to the world.”

“Cool.” Gabe flipped the eggs, and then joined Zach at the island. “So, you have fun last night?”

“Yeah,” Zach said automatically, but without much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, right, doesn’t sound like it.”

Zach rubbed his forehead some more. “No, man, it was cool. Mostly.”

 “It never feels like as much fun when you’re feeling like shit the next morning, right?”

Zach laughed. “Yeah, that’s definitely part of it. Hey, you see Billy much?”

Gabe’s grin faltered and he took a moment to answer. “We meet up and surf when I’m back here, but not really. Why’re you asking?”

He shrugged quickly, trying to be as nonchalant as he possibly could. “Ah, no reason. I saw him last night and I just—I don’t know, I was curious.”

Gabe had a rare serious look on his face, and he leaned a little closer to Zach. “Did he say something to you?”

“Why’re you asking me that?”

“Look, dude, I know what Billy is like. I know he can be a dick, and I know he’s—well, he can be stupid about some shit. If he said something to you—”

“He didn’t. I just heard him say something.”

“Yeah, well, forget it, dude. He’s just a fucking asshole and not worth your time.”

Zach shrugged. “I don’t know, man. We used to be pretty tight with him.”

“So? Dude, when Shaun first came out, I mentioned something to Billy, and that guy said some fucking ignorant shit. He’s just like that. You know, I wasn’t even going to call him yesterday, but then Steve wanted him to come, and then, you know.”

Zach frowned. “After Shaun came out, you said something about it to Billy?”

“Yeah. So?”

“You never said anything to me. I just kind of figured it out on my own.”

Gabe grinned. “Yeah, you obviously did. What did you do? Jump Shaun and see how he’d react?”

Zach glared at his best friend. “Fuck off, man.”

“Seriously, you obviously didn’t need any help from me figuring it out. What’s wrong? Do you wish I’d told you sooner so that you could have started with the man sex years ago?”

“Dude—”

“Cause, I don’t know, man, maybe it was better that it took this long, you know? I mean, if we’d been younger, it would have been weird, and—”

“Shut the fuck up, Gabe, you’ve had your fun.”

“No, really, I—well, good morning, sunshine! We were just talking about you.”

Zach turned around to see Shaun shuffling into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“Oh yeah?” he said. “About how awesome I am and how you both wish you could surf as well as I do?”

Zach and Gabe looked at each other and both burst into laughter. At first, it only seemed a little bit funny, but once they started to laugh, neither could stop. They both had tears running down their cheeks and were holding their stomachs by the time they finally got a hold of themselves.

Shaun stood at the head of the island, his arms crossed across his chest. “Fuck both of you.”

“Hey, man,” Gabe said, turning back to the stove, “just Zach, all right? Fucking me would just be wrong on so many levels.”

Shaun found this funny enough to break his angry façade, but Zach was immediately sobered up. “I’m going to fucking kill you, Gabe.”

“Whatever, man.”

The three of them shared a greasy breakfast, and were all feeling better within an hour. As Zach’s hangover wore off, he started to think about what was going to happen that day. He and Shaun would be taking Cody back from Jeanne, which was a good thing, but then they would be having their talk with Jeanne, which brought Zach a considerable amount of stress. At the same time, though, he just wanted to get the whole thing over-with. He was tired of waiting and worrying.

*          *            *

They were silent during the ride over, but once they were parked in the hotel parking lot and were about to get out of the car, Shaun leaned over, placed his hand on Zach’s knee and looked right into Zach’s eyes. “It’s going to be fine.”

Zach nodded quickly, looking away, not wanting to argue, just wanting this to be done.

“And no matter what happens, I’m going to be here for you.”

Zach moved his eyes back to Shaun’s face and nodded again, this time more slowly. He lifted a hand, brought it to his partner’s cheek, and their lips met for a brief, comforting kiss.

They went into the hotel lobby and found Jeanne sitting on one of the couches, and Cody kneeling in front of the coffee table, coloring in a coloring book Zach had packed in his overnight bag. He looked up as Zach and Shaun approached them, and his face was immediately lit up by a grin. “Daddy!” he said as he got up and sprinted over to Zach. For a split second he wished Cody hadn’t called him that because he could only imagine how it would make Jeanne feel, but then he didn’t care because he was holding Cody in his arms, Cody who thought of him as his father.

Cody quickly wriggled out of Zach’s hug. “Shaun!”

“Hey, ankle biter,” Shaun said.

“Did you have fun?” Zach asked after Shaun and Cody had hugged.

Cody nodded. “Yeah. We swam at the pool and went to McDonald’s for dinner.”

Zach looked at Jeanne who had stood up to join them, and smiled. “Sounds like a blast.”

Jeanne nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, it went great. Look, there’s a coffee shop across the street. Let’s go have a talk over there.”

Zach felt his stomach flip, and not in the good way. “All right,” was all he said.

They crossed the street to the café. They got coffees and a chocolate milk for Cody, and found a table to sit at. Cody immediately spotted a small play area in the corner with a massive bin of building blocks, and went off to play.

“All right, Jeanne,” Zach said when they had sat down, “what’s this about?”

Jeanne glared at him. “You don’t have to be so impatient.”

“I’m not—” Zach stopped himself, forcing himself to relax. “I’m sorry. I’m just—curious to know what you want to talk about.”

Jeanne took a deep breath, and readjusted her position in her chair. “Alright. Well, this is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile, but, um … I guess I needed to spend this time with Cody to make sure of it.”

Zach closed his eyes. Here it comes, he thought. She’s going to take him away from us and we’re not going to be able to do a single thing about it.

“Let’s face it: I’m not cut out for being a mother.”

Zach opened his eyes.

“And you—” She paused, then moved here eyes from Zach to Shaun, “and you are better parents than I could ever be.”

Zach looked at Shaun, then back at Jeanne, afraid to believe what he was hearing, because if it wasn’t true, he would never recover from it.

“I want to give up my parental rights,” Jeanne said. “I want to give them to you, Zach.”

There was silence at the table while everyone absorbed this. Zach suddenly felt like he could breathe again after months of holding his breath, just waiting for something to happen to take his wonderful new family away from him. He looked at Shaun, who was grinning back at him, and finally let himself smile. He looked at Jeanne, “Jeanne, I don’t know—”

“What? You don’t want him? I thought that—”

“No! No, of course we want him. I just … I’m just not sure what to say to you right now.”

Jeanne looked at him for a moment, and Zach could see sadness in her eyes, but also resolve, and even relief. “I just want the best thing for him. And this is the best thing.”

Zach nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well,” she said, “I made an appointment with this lawyer I’ve been talking to. He’ll have all the paperwork we have to sign and everything, and then … that’ll be it. Are you guys free tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sure.”

“Good.” Jeanne pulled a pen out of her bag and wrote a name and address down on a napkin. “That’s the lawyer’s name and his office. We need to be there at two.”

“OK.”

They all sat in silence for what seemed like a long time. Zach was so happy and relieved, he could hardly think. He knew, though, that this was probably the hardest thing Jeanne had ever had to do before, and he wanted her to know how strong he knew she was being. He reached over and placed a hand on her arm. “You’re doing the right thing. Cody’s going to have a good life with us.”

Jeanne nodded. “I know.”

“Thank you, Jeanne.”

Jeanne shrugged. “It’s not like I’m giving you a present or something.”

“You kind of are.”

Jeanne met his eyes and nodded again. “Yeah. Well, I guess I’ll go say goodbye to him.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Zach said. He and Shaun watched Jeanne as she went over to the play area and knelt down next to Cody to speak to him. Zach looked at Shaun, who smiled back at him. “Don’t even think about saying ‘I told you so.’

Shaun grinned. “I wasn’t going to say anything. I’m just happy you can stop worrying so we can get on with our lives.”

“That,” Zach said, reaching across the table to put his hand on Shaun’s arm, “sounds like a great plan.”

They watched Jeanne as she gave Cody a hug, then pulled something out of her bag. From where they were sitting, Zach could see it was a box, wrapped in Christmas paper, tied with a red bow. Jeanne handed the package to Cody, ruffled his hair, then walked quickly out of the café.

Cody came over to the table, holding his gift.

“What have you got there?” Shaun asked.

“A present. But Jeanne said I can’t open it until Christmas.”

“Of course not,” Shaun gasped as though horrified by the thought of opening a gift before Christmas. “It’s good she told you, but just in case you forget—” he reached over and snatched the gift out of Cody’s hands, “I think I’d better hand on to this.”

Cody’s eyes widened. “Shaun! Give it!”

Shaun held the present high above Cody’s head, while the boy continued to swipe at it in a useless attempt to reach that high. Zach watched the two of them, laughing and teasing each other, playing and happy and felt like he could watch them forever. And then, he realized that he could, that Jeanne had just given him that.

As they headed back to the car, Cody between the two men, he tugged on Zach hand. “Daddy?”

Zach looked down at Cody, this time feeling no guilt over being called that. “Yep?”

“Jeanne said she’s not going to see me for a long time. Is she going away?”

“She’s going back to Portland, Codes.”

“Yeah, but she said we needed to say goodbye. She didn’t say that last time.”

Zach glanced at Shaun, who was looking back at him. “Well,” Shaun said, “it might be longer this time before you see her.”

“Oh,” Cody said, looking down at the gift he had managed to steal back, and then straight ahead. Zach watched him, seeing his young, usually carefree face full of uncharacteristic seriousness. Zach could see he was trying to work something out, that he was on the brink of realizing something that maybe he wasn’t ready to understand. One day he would know that his mother had never been able to be a real parent to him, that she had chosen a boyfriend and a better job over her son, but he didn’t need to know that now. Right now, all Zach wanted him to know was that he had two parents who loved him and would do anything for him. He wanted his happy, carefree five-year-old back, so he gave Cody’s shoulders a squeeze and said, “Hey, buddy, we’d better hurry back to the house, because there’s a very important job that we need to get done once we’re there.”

Cody looked at him. “What?”

“We have a Christmas tree to decorate! Also, I think there’s a whole bunch of hot chocolate in the cupboard that needs to get drunk, so we’re going to need your help on that one. What do you think? Can you give us a hand?”

“Yeah,” Cody said, a grin breaking across his face.

They spent the evening blasting horrible Christmas music over the living room stereo system, and decorating an old, artificial tree they had found in the basement with decorations Shaun and Gabe said they hadn’t seen in years. They ate popcorn and pizza and drank way too much hot chocolate. Zach knew, even as it was happening, that it would be a night that they would remember for the rest of their lives, and somehow, that made it seem less real to him. In fact, all of it felt a little like a dream, but Zach was finally starting to feel like maybe it was a dream he wasn’t going to wake up from..